A long and happy sex life sounds rather surreal, because how do you keep it fun and exciting in bed for all this time? And not only in bed, but outside as well, of course. Research now shows that responsiveness is the answer to a happy and long life together.
Partners who put time and energy together to make the relationship feel special and unique stay happiest for the longest time, thereby preserving sexual desire. According to Gurit Birnbaum, psychological professor at the Interdisciplinary Center in Herzliya Israël.
Birnbaum and her team found that the responsiveness of the partner influences the desire of the woman more than it does in the man. Although this also has an effect on men, only to a lesser extent.
Responsiveness means that you show understanding for each other, your partner feels understood on a deeper level. ‘This is important because it shows the other person how much you care about him/her.’
‘Responsive partners are willing to invest a lot in the relationship and show understanding at a deeper level.’ This is how they make the relationship special and give the feeling that the relationship is unique, something that many people are looking for in romantic relationships.
Special and important
For this study, Birnbaum and her team conducted three experiments with a hundred couples who had to keep a diary every day for six weeks. In it, they described their sexual desire and their perception of their partner’s responsiveness. The results showed that the men and women felt special and desirable because their partner was responsive. They see how valuable their relationship is, the person they are with, and this boosts sexual desire.
‘Sexual desire thrives in increasing intimacy, and responsiveness is one of the best ways to revive that elusive sensation over time.’