When does a relationship deserve a second chance?

by LotteLust

The relationship between you and your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t going well. Something has happened that has changed the mood. You still love each other but there are doubts. You’re wondering if you should even put in work into the relationship. Is he or she still worth it? Can you forgive each other? Here are a few situations in which a relationship deserves a second chance.

What happened? 

Based on this question, it is easy to make a decision. By thinking about what actually happened, you can put it into perspective better. So do not act on impulse from anger, but first think about the recent times. How has the atmosphere changed between you? What happened?

  • Did your partner offend you?
  • Were you cheated on?
  • Did your partner lie to you?
  • Are you pressured to do something you don’t want to do?
  • Did one of you make a big mistake with large consequences?
  • Is the relationship too demanding?
  • Are you not in love anymore? 

Well, hopefully you now know where it is and what happened. Now the big question is: are you giving your partner a second chance, despite this event(s)? Confirm if the situations below are true:

You still have a lot of fun together

‘Love conquers all,’ is what is often said. That’s why you shouldn’t just give up when things aren’t working out. Overcoming difficult periods makes your bond stronger. If you can still have a lot of fun together, this is a sign that a second chance is definitely possible. Doing fun things helps to put the ‘lesser’ periods behind you. One negative experience does not have to exceed a hundred positive experiences. Talk through your annoyances and plan fun activities to enjoy each other’s company. Besides, making fun memories is a positive thing for your relationship.

You can fix the fight

Fights are never fun but once in a while they’re necessary. By expressing pent-up emotions and/or irritations, you learn a lot from each other. You may act differently in some situations than your partner would. You can have disagreements or interpret things differently.

By talking about mistakes or annoying things, you can find out how you feel about certain things. You get to know each other’s norms and values. And sometimes you don’t understand each other. Then don’t stay angry for too long and give in to each other.

You want to work on the relationship together

What’s done is done. If you give the relationship a second chance, focus on the future. But you have to be honest with each other. Are you both in the same position? And do you both want to work on the relationship again? By thinking together and discussing what you expect from each other, a new start will have a chance of success.

Your partner takes responsibility

When trust in your boyfriend or girlfriend is damaged, you do not have to forgive your partner immediately. Trust takes time to rebuild. Why would you be ‘okay’ with someone immediately after a big mistake?

Give the relationship time and let your partner do his (or her) best for you first. It is a positive sign when someone does their best for you. If you see that your partner is sorry and/or admits the mistake he/she made, you can start a second chance.

You’re open to change

In a relationship you – in most cases – deal with two people. During an event there is always ‘an action’ and ‘a reaction’. If your partner cheated or lied, it comes from somewhere. Of course it is not good to justify, but you both have a share in the relationship. Therefore, also look at yourself.

Have you been busy with yourself and have you had no eye for your partner? Then your boyfriend or girlfriend feels left out. Your partner seeks attention from others, and one thing led to another. Again: not the right response and a shorter period is no excuse to make a slip. Whether it was adultery or some other situation, it is also important to look in the mirror. Don’t just point the finger, because no one is perfect. Also work on yourself and try to discover your bad habits. Give each other feedback in a nice way and do something with it.

Image: Unsplash


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